Shenanigans In Cowtown
by MidnightMorpher
Summary: Life in Cowtown has been quiet as of late, save for the occasional crime committed by the Masked Bull, so it comes as a fresh breath when a new family decides to move in looking for a new start in life. Unfortunately for the newcomers, they will soon discover just how much livelier Cowtown can be compared to their hometown...


A/N: Hello, hello! I know that I have a bunch of stories that are still in progress, so think of this as a "fun" story, okay? Just for fun, not serious. This is a cartoon I stumbled upon, and was quite amused yet drawn in by the concept. I don't know why, I just really liked it. So I hope that you like this too!

~0~

"So the new family will be arriving today?"

Sheriff Terrorbull looked up from his lunch. "Yeah, the letter they sent to the mayor said that they'll be coming today." He snorted. "Whoever wrote that was long-winded as hell, kept rambling on and on about the damn weather conditions in their hometown..."

"Well, I'm sure that they'll still be lovely people," Lilli said sincerely. "Folks here are moving away because of the Masked Bull, and hardly any merchants are passing through because of that too. It'd be nice to have new faces in the saloon, even if it's only three."

Terrorbull remained silent.

"And Cody's been as lively as he's been around the marshal ever since he heard about it," she added as a second thought. "You wouldn't believe how excited he is, he's been talking about nothing else since then."

The sheriff barely managed to hide a grimace. Just what he needed, another brat that could potentially ruin the Masked Bull's -his- schemes. He already had more than his fair share of run-ins with that whiny calf and his friends when disguised as the Masked Bull, and every time he captured them, he would either be forced to let them go or the marshal would come rescue them. Throwing another brat to the mix would just be another straw to the camel's back.

Of course, this problem wouldn't surface if he just did what the mayor told him to do...

Speaking of which, it was nearly time to go. "Thank you for the meal, Miss Lilli," he said, pushing aside his half-empty plate. "Now if you would excuse me, I have to do some business for the mayor."

"Oh, does it have to do with the newcomers, Sheriff?" she asked as she took his plate.

He stilled for a moment. "...Something like that," he answered lightly. "I have to go now."

He got up and, after leaving a tip at the table for Lilli, hastily walked out of the Tumbleweed.

~0~

Lilli's eyes remained on the sheriff until he disappeared from view, and her lips pursed. She could remember Moo's words about Sheriff Terrorbull's deceitful nature as clear as day, and to be honest, she could see why. After all, it was he and his deputies who help Mayor Bulloney carry out his more than dubious schemes, and he was always on the abrasive side of matters. No one liked him much, and the feeling was mutual.

But on the other hoof, the sheriff hadn't done anything outright illegal, and she found him courteous enough when conversing with him. Maybe she was just over-imagining things.

Her train of thoughts was interrupted when a small body dashed into the saloon, several greasy bags in his hoof. "Miss Lilli, I got the jerky for you," Cody said dutifully, carefully handing the bags over to Lilli. "Do you need my help with anything else?"

She gave the saloon a look over. It looked even emptier than before, now that the huge bull was gone, with only Benny Beiver patronising the Tumbleweed. Normally, she would have given Cody the task of sweeping the floors and dusting the shelves, but that was a bad idea considering that she was still open for business. The dishes would be left to her to clean, and there were no other customers to take orders from.

In the end, she concluded that there was nothing to be done. "No, there isn't anything else, Cody dear. Why don't you go out and find your friends?" she suggested. Might as well let him burn off some steam before meeting the newcomers, or he might scare their child off. "Just remember to come back before dark, and don't go too far out in the desert."

"Yes, ma'am!" With that, he shot out of the Tumbleweed like an arrow. The sole patron wasn't fazed by it in the slightest.

Lilli shook her head. Cody had always been an energetic calf, but he had been especially bouncy when he heard the news about the new family, most enthused by the prospect of a new playmate.

Hopefully, the transition into Cowtown will go smoothly for them...

~0~

Her skin prickled unpleasantly under the glare of the blazing sun. Sweat rolled down her face in rivulets, fiercely stinging her squinting eyes. Her new clothes clung to her matted fur, and the hat did very little to block the sun's rays. The fact that the land around her was practically devoid of life did nothing to raise her morales.

Why did she agree to this? She must have been drunk or something; there was no way she would have agreed to moving a town in the middle of goddamn nowhere in her normal state of mind. If she had to listen to ONE more buzzard in this stupid place, then she is-

She shifted around uncomfortably. Tch, who knew that sitting on the back of a horse for hours on end would be easier said than done? Definitely not her, the person who had so foolishly volunteered to be the one riding the horse all the way to Cowtown. "The trip will pass by faster than she knew it", her ass.

Well, at least Kinna tried to take over for her about an hour ago, bless her. But someone had to stay with Oro, and it wasn't going to be Mr Sweating-For-The-Past-Two-Hours. The poor kid'll probably be knocked out instantly.

Feather-like fingers brushed against her shoulder. "Sweetie, are you feeling alright?" a honey-like voice asked. "I can take over for a while, it will be only for a while anyway."

She smiled through the exhaustion. "Nah, it's alright," she croaked. "But could you pass me the canteen? My throat's about as dry as the desert right now..."

"Of course." A leather canteen was immediately handed to her, and Misha tipped it back. She drank few mouthfuls before pausing, wiping her mouth on her sleeve.

"Thanks," she said gratefully, handing back the canteen. "I- Oh wait, I want to try something first."

Clearing her throat, she began speaking in a significantly deeper voice. "What do you think of this voice, Kinny?" she asked, wiggling her eyebrows. "Manly enough for you?"

Even without turning around, Misha could imagine her wife screwing up her nose in distaste. "Sweetie, I do hope that you're not going to do that when we reach Cowtown. And there's no need to do that anyway, your voice is deep enough to pass off as a guy," she said flatly.

"Thanks!"

Misha heard a sigh. "Just...don't go around scaring the locals whenever you fancy it," she said sternly. "We moved to a new town for a reason, and you're not going to get us kicked out if I have anything to say about it."

In an instant, the smile on her face was wiped off. "Yeesh, do you have that little faith in me? Of course I won't, do you know how long it took me to secure the house over there? The mayor was being such a pain in the ass about it too..."

"That's not the point, Mish. We moved here for Oro to have a nice life without everybody pushing him away," she said. "And we won't mess it up for him."

"I know, I know." Misha was rather miffed that Kinna felt the need to lecture her like a little kid, but she was soon distracted by a separate topic. "How's Oro doing back there?"

She heard shifting and shuffling. "He's fine, but the poor thing's so sweaty in this heat. I hope that this is just the summer heat..."

'I doubt it.' "Feels like a sauna in there, doesn't it?" she chuckled.

"Beats being baked alive out there, at least," Kinna said back playfully.

"Oh yeah? Well, I-"

It happened too fast.

She felt something wrapping itself around her abdomen, and then she was sailing gracefully through the air with the ghost of a smile frozen on her face. She saw a glimpse of a black figure in the distance before her head smashed against the unforgiving ground.

Pain wracked every single bone in her body. The world spun in a dizzying blur as she tumbled helter-skelter on the dusty ground before her back hit a rocky wall with an agonising crack. There she laid, in a limp pile of dusty clothes and cut limbs, moaning.

A fog of pain clouded her mind, but she could vaguely hear panicked neighing from somewhere far off. A second later, she cried out in shock when someone grabbed her shirt and yanked her up, her legs dangling helplessly in the air. Her arms blindly lashed out, her mind still struggling to comprehend the sudden turn of events.

"Well, well, well, look at what we have here. An outsider trying to move to somewhere he doesn't belong."

The voice was deep, frighteningly so. It was also very close to her ears. Her eyes drifted upwards slowly, and she physically recoiled at the sight of a masked face staring menacingly down at her.

"Who-who the hell are you?" she wheezed, clutching her ribs in pain.

He cocked his head to one side, as if in thought. "Hmm... The folks around here know me as the Masked Bull, the most notorious criminal in Moo Mesa. And I don't take too kindly to you young upstarts moving into _my_ territory," he said, his voice trailing off into a growl as his eyes narrowed at her. "I think your valuables will be enough compensation for this transgression, don't you agree?"

He hoisted her even higher, cutting off most of her air. "Y-you..."

"Misha!"

Horror stabbed her heart, and she could only watch in dismay as the carriage door flew open, a red headed figure jumping out with a small bundle in her arms. "Mish, what's going...on...?"

Misha saw a myriad of expressions cross Kinna's face in a split second. She could sense her attacker shift slightly, and she started yelling before she could stop herself.

"Kin, get on the horse and get away from here!" She could see Kinna hesitate slightly. "GO, NOW! GET ORO AWAY FROM HIM!"

Like an electric bolt going through her, Kinna spun on her heel and ran to the horse like the devil was on her heels. "Saddlesore, Boothill, make sure she doesn't get away," the Masked Bull growled.

"Yes, boss!" A scorpion and a buzzard raced after Kinna, who was frantically tugging on the attachments with one hand. But Misha knew that there was no way she could undo it in time. So it was up to her to do something really, really stupid.

The Masked Bull looked at her right in The eye. She could feel her heart thumping madly in her throat. "Looks like it's time to say goodbye to your new home. But don't worry, I'll leave the horse so that you can drag your sorry tail back to your hometown," he snickered.

Despite her banged-up state, Misha managed a small smirk. "Nah, I don't think so." With her hand clenched behind her back, she whipped out her knife in a wide arc towards his face.

Startled, the Masked Bull jerked away and his grip loosened, and she pulled herself away. She raced towards the horse and, praying that she wouldn't miss her mark, she raised her knife and threw it at the attachments. Miraculously, the blade sliced through the leather cleanly, freeing the horse from the carriage. "Kinna, go go GO!"

Ignoring her screaming muscles, Misha threw herself at the two thugs and brought all of them to the ground. They screamed and struggled, but she held on fast, doing her best to ignore the continuous elbows to her ribs. She heard a neigh, and the sound of galloping hooves receding into the distance.

Misha grinned. She did it. She managed to get her family away from the danger.

Suddenly, a foot was driven into her side and flung her away. She cried out at the new pain, curling up and clutching her throbbing ribs. Through a film of tears, sh watched the Masked Bull roughly pull the two thugs up onto their feet. "Stop fooling around! Go get your horses and get her, before that damn marshal finds her first." He narrowed his eyes at them. "Go on, git!"

"Y-yes boss!" They scrambled away, and a second later, more whinnying filled the air as two more horses raced after the distant dust cloud.

As Misha coughed and slowly pushed herself up, she froze when she saw the masked criminal calmly approaching her. She hastily scrambled to her feet and backed away from him, hand closing around another knife in her pocket. 'And Kin called me crazy for having these with me.'

"What do you plan to do with that toy?" he asked tauntingly. "Unless you want to meet your maker today, I suggest you give yourself and your valuables up now."

She kept her silence this time. Even she was no fool; there was no way she could beat him in a fight. The Masked Bull was simply a hulking mass of fur and muscle, and he vastly outweighed her. He was built like a _tank_. Even if she was a guy, there was absolutely no way she could overpower him.

So the best she could hope to do was keep him occupied until Kinna came back with help.

"L-like hell I'm going to do that." Her voice was weak, but it never wavered. It was certainly showing more bravery than she felt at the moment. "If you want our stuff, you'll have to go through me first."

He snorted. "This shouldn't take long."

He bent down and began charging at full speed towards her, his curved horns pointed at her chest. Bending her knees, she waited until the last possible minute to leap out of the way, her knife just barely scraping the surface of his horns. The Masked Bull wasted no time swerving and heading in her direction, and she turned on her heel and bolted towards the cliff walls. She knew that there was a river behind it, and if she could trick him into pitching himself into it, she could run back to the carriage and get better weapons to defend herself with.

She glanced over her shoulder. The Masked Bull was still on her tail, and unless her eyes were tricking her, he was getting closer by the second. She returned her gaze to the front. Her entire body was throbbing with agony, but she continued to press on. Just a little more. Just a little...

She was running through the gap between the walls. She turned her head again, but she skidded to a halt when she saw the Masked Bull just standing there. What was he doing? Was he going to give up chasing her and go steal their belongings instead? Oh, hell no.

"Hey, what's the matter? Too scared to fight me?" she yelled. "Come on, come get me!"

He didn't move an inch. She frowned. Should she just get out of here and actually take him on? It was quite dark here, and very silent expect for that hissing sound...

Wait... A hissing sound? Above her?

Then the explosions came.

She snapped her head up when the sound of crumbling rocks rapidly reached her ears. The horror was slow to register compared to the several tonnes of rocks hurtling towards her. 'I have to get out of here!'

She tried to run to the end, but she felt a sharp pain at the back of her head, and she immediately crumbled.

~0~

The Masked Bull watched silently as the giant mass of boulders fell onto the fox. Admittedly, it was a tad excessive for a retaliation, but that mutt was really getting on his nerves with his taunting. He hadn't even managed use it for its intended purpose; he had meant to have the boulders block the family's path when they passed through the canyon, but then they had to go and pick a different path to go through. Oh well. At least his trap didn't go to waste.

Striding towards the wreckage, he pushed aside the heavy boulders and, with little difficulty, plucked the limp body from beneath the pile. After a brief examination, the Masked Bull deduced that the fox hadn't received any severe injuries, the worst being the wound on his head. That would be simple enough to treat. After all, a dead hostage wouldn't be any good to him.

Telltale cantering from behind told him that his deputies had returned. He turned, but instead of seeing a tied up woman with them, they came up to him empty handed and with their clothes seared in several places. "You idiots let her escape?!" He snarled, already knowing full well the answer.

Saddlesore fiddled with his smoking hat. "Well, not exactly... We didn't mean to let her get away, the marshal and his group came and chased us away," he babbled nervously. "And Boothill was the one who brought them to us!"

"It wasn't! It was you who kept shooting your pistol and got their attention!"

"No, I-!"

"Enough!" The Masked Bull didn't know how long they had before the marshal came, but he had no time to waste. "You two, get their valuables and get back to the hideout! I'll deal with this useless lump." The last part trailed off into a growl as he glanced at the unconscious body.

"What're you gonna do with him, boss?"

"You'll find out soon enough. Now go!" After the two rushed off to secure the stolen goods, the Masked Bull fished out some cow leather and tied the fox's hands behind his back, and after making sure that there was no more hidden "surprises" in his pockets, he flung the body onto his horse carelessly and hopped on himself. "He-yah!"

Soon, the Masked Bull and his captive was nothing but a speck in the distance, his two cronies straggling after him.

~0~

A/N: That is some welcome. So don't worry to all of the folks out there who are having trouble moving houses, at least you don't end up under several dozen boulders with your stuff stolen. :)

So how is it? Not too bad, I hope. This is my first time writing a canon character, so do forgive me if I make mistakes in their personalities and feel free to point them out to me :)


End file.
